Posted by: jenn11970 | February 27, 2009

Just a Little Frustrated

With my daughter’s 22nd birthday approaching at alarming rate, I find I have a mix of happiness and sadness. Today, I definitely felt the sadness. Maybe I should say the mix of sadness with frustration that can only come from loving the child I gave birth to, but according to Hallmark I can’t buy a suitable card. Why, you ask??

“Through the years of raising you, my heart was always filled with the promise of what I knew you would become.”

“A mother could never be more proud of raising a daughter such as you. Happy birthday, my darling daughter.”

“I knew before you were born I would love you more than life itself. Late night feedings, nightmares, and a broken heart, were only some of the things we would conquer together.”

Of course, I made these up, paraphrased a bit, but I think you get my point. Unless I can claim raising her, I apparently can’t wish her a happy birthday with the word “daughter” attached. I also can’t claim any love because once again, in order to love a daughter, I would have had to raise said daughter. I am feeling a bit whiny right now. Anyone have any cheese???

I know I will find a card. I am not afraid that I won’t. It is just so frustrating. LO’s First Mom always buys LO the nicest cards. They say daughter, and mention a mother’s love. I guess I just wanted to be able to find a card that could let her know how I feel. Last year I got her a humorous card but wrote her a really nice letter to go inside. I guess I may have to do that again. I just always feel like I have to be careful with what is in my heart.

On a different note, but somewhat related to my adoption drama, my prom date from High School found me on Facebook. I have to say I was totally shocked, but very happy to hear from him. We have been emailing back and forth and I told him all about L. He was the first guy I dated seriously after I relinquished, and the first person outside of my family I told about it. Being able to tell him about her was so great. I also got to thank him for being so kind to me during that time frame. He really took care of me on more than one occasion of non-stop crying. He was so caring, and wanted nothing more than to take my pain away. He was so humbled by my thanks, but so happy about my reunion. He actually feels like he was more of jerk than he would like to remember. He was a little of that too, but I chalked that up to him being only 19 yrs old at the time, and I was a bit hard to handle!! I am actually surprised he thought to look for me. Go Facebook. LOL!! The amount of people I can share L with is so limited in my real life. It is nice to have someone that knew me then, validate some of my feelings.

I am done rambling for now. I am going to have get busy thinking about what I want to write in a nice letter to L for her birthday. I still have no idea what to get her, but I am leaning toward a cool basket of goodies she can share with her room mates. Kind of like a care package of sorts. I don’t know. We shall see. I am down to about 5 days!! EEEEK!!

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Responses

  1. Buy a blank one you like and say something that’s meaningful to you.

    I hate those rhyme-y cards.

  2. I love that you are blogging…I can make you a card if you would like…and you can have it say whatever you damn well want

  3. Thank you Debi Hallmark. LOL!! I hate those rhyme-y cards too. I had already decided to go with the empty one and write my own on the inside. It was just annoying is all.

    Thanks.

  4. Phooey on Hallmark, they suck anyway. Whatever you write will be a thousand times better.

    Funny about your prom date… I just found my junior prom date last night… and my best friend from seventh grade. It’s crazy the people it lets us reconnect with!

    Good luck at her graduation and on the gift, Jenn.

  5. Thanks for sharing. I too get really sad about my daughter’s birthday.

  6. I’ve had to use blank cards as well….all of the daughter one’s aren’t right….I’m trying to send Cupcake cards for the holidays (Valentine’s Day, Christmas, birthdays) and every time it’s a breakdown in Hallmark (or whatever card store that doesn’t have what I need) when I get frustrated all over again that I can’t find anything that says the right thing…..you’re not alone.


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