Posted by: jenn11970 | May 12, 2008

Mother’s Day

Well Happy belated Mother’s Day to all those wonderful moms out there.  I had every intention of posting a nice Mother’s Day shout to everyone, but you know the old saying…the best laid plans…..

Yesterday was an okay day.  Husband was out of town on business, and as luck would have it, the business was in NY, so he spent the weekend with his Mom.  I am glad he was there with his other siblings to celebrate his Mom for her first Mother’s Day since his Dad passed away.  I am sure she needed them as much as they needed to honor her.  It sounded like they all had a great day, and aside from having to spend it without him, my day was okay.

I had my cousin, a widow and mother of 1, and her friend, a single mother of 1, over for dinner and a few glasses of wine.  I made us all a very nice dinner and my cousin made the most fabulous cheesecake for  dessert.  DH gave me a dozen long-stemmed roses before he left, and I had told my cousin about them, jokingly referring to them as “guilt roses”.  She had said she would love any roses, even guilty ones, on Mother’s Day, since she had NEVER gotten flowers in the 9 years since becoming a mom.  We both laughed that in a few more years her son would have a small part time job and that then maybe she would get flowers.  So on Saturday I went out and bought 2 dozen roses and 2 very pretty vases, and 2 special Mother’s Day cards.  When my 2 Mommy guests got to my home yesterday…….they were both very happy and surprised that they had been honored as special moms by LO and myself.  It felt sooooo good to make someone else happy.  Both ladies said they were going to take their flowers to work with them so they could have them on their desks!!!  I am in awe of how they manage their children’s busy schedules along with their own.  They have been a constant source of information for me, and since none of us are perfect, while making my own mistakes, I learn from their mistakes as well.

On a gray note, I did not hear from the daughter I am in reunion with.  It hurts, but I put it in perspective and realize that although we have this relationship of sorts, I need to be happy with what is, and not sad about what isn’t.  Hope that makes sense. Maybe there will be a card today, but I am not going to hold my breath.   Much like the healing process from the adoption 21 years ago, the building process will take time too.  The rational side of me is doing well, the emotional side cried a few times yesterday, and will probably shed a few tears over the next few days.  Then I shall pull myself up by the boot straps and forge forward into the glorious future that I know awaits me.

Yeah. Right.  That is what my mind will force me to do.  I guess I will know better by Wednesday or Thursday which part of my psyche wins out……the emotional, or the logical.  I think I will just keep myself busy with the spring cleaning and yard work that is always in need of getting done this time of year.

Happy Mother’s Day again to all the women who are called Mom and thought of as Mom, for not only yesterday but every day throughout the year.

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Responses

  1. Oh Jenn!!

    {{{{HUGS}}} for you. I cried tears yesterday for the Moms that I couldn’t call. Adoption can suck sometimes!

    I hope you hear from your daughter soon.

  2. This post got me thinking about DS and his birth mom…we have never called her…partly because I want him to totally understand this whole adoption thing before hand and partly because he was young. Now that he is older and he ‘gets’ that birth mom means mom only a little different from mommy…me…I think he should be calling her. So next year that is my vow to make sure that he has a grasp on what this day means to her as well. NO SLAMS PLEASE

    Jenn as impossible as it is try thinking about it from the other side of the coin. It is year one…maybe she too has thought about calling but has decided that now is just not the exact right time. I am confident that she will some day see your role as mom too.


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