Posted by: jenn11970 | December 11, 2007

The Catch 22

I get to buy my daughter a gift for Christmas this year. I am so excited and very nervous at the same time. Wanting to make sure I get her something she will enjoy, use, like, keep, not make fun of, (LOL) I send her an email and ask for ideas. I got back a very nice email with some great ideas. I have decided what I want to get her, and we even talked about it a bit on the phone tonight, and I am sure this is what I want to get her, but…….

I am a VERY open-minded person. I am also a Catholic. I took some time off for “good behavior”, was “a recovering Catholic” for awhile, but have recently started going to church again because I needed it. Usually, open-minded and Catholic don’t go together, but I have always been a curious sort, and love to learn about other faiths. My best friend of 25 years is a Pagan. So is my daughter. She has found herself searching for some way to harness her spirituality, and although raised Catholic, has not practiced for a number of years. Her parents no longer practice either, and by her own admission really have no “spiritual” side.

Her choice of faith is not what is bothering me. I have learned a lot about Pagan/Wiccan ritual and celebrations from my girlfriend over the years, and we have had a number of great discussions about the similarities and differences in our faiths. Just because the Church didn’t want to include the Gospels of Mary Magdelene, James, and others in the Bible, doesn’t mean they aren’t worthy of being read. I also read the Protoevangelism of James and found it to be very moving. I struggled and still struggle to understand some of the teachings of my faith, but have finally realized, I guess, it is what it is. If my daughter can find happiness and spirituality in other places, then so be it. So what is my long-winded problem??

I found the perfect gift, and am nervous her parents might not like that I am supportive of her quest. They have told her she is an adult and can do what she wants, but will it be okay for me to support it?? In talking to L tonight, she didn’t seem to think it would be a big deal, but understood how I felt. She REALLY wants what I found for her. (Which makes me feel AWESOME!!!!) She is happy I understand what she is looking for, and why wouldn’t I?? I went through the same thing!! When I took my hiatus from the Church, I read books about Wicca, Egyptian philosophy, read about the Greek and Roman Gods, and learned a lot about the healing and power of crystals. I believe to this day, that we can get energy and power from nature as easily as from saying a Rosary. Is it blasphemous?? I don’t know, sometimes I still wonder if there is more.

I am going to get the gift for her. I just hope her parents will be alright with it. I want L to know I listen to her, and that I understand her need for spirituality. I don’t want her parents to think I am undermining them in any way. I want them to know that I respect them as her parents, but that I also respect their daughter’s right to chose whatever faith it is she decides to practice. I don’t find her choice amusing, I am fascinated with it, and find it very interesting.

I don’t know. Maybe I am over-thinking it, as usual. I got the greatest present tonight. L and I email and sign our emails Love… or Love ya… Tonight when she said good-bye, she said “Love ya”. I told her ” I love you too.” We both giggled and said good bye again. I just got the greatest gift…..and although still worried and confused about “the gift”, I am strangely peaceful.

Sorry for choppiness of this post…. just lots of thoughts tonight, and none of them making much sense.



  1. You’re making sense, it’s complicated.

  2. you are making me cry…and I am at the dern library…I love that you have such care for her and for her parents…I get you I think that they will too..

  3. Thanks Deb. Wish it didn’t have to feel so complicated. Some days I feel as though I make mountains out of mole hills!!!

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