Posted by: jenn11970 | September 10, 2007

There went the bride

My sister got married this past weekend. The wedding was beautiful, and so was the bride. I am biased of course!! The priest spoke about loving one another for who we are day to day, and to not judge one another harshly when mistakes are made. He urged the newly weds to remember how much they loved each other that day when one of them does or says something the other doesn’t like. I loved his words.

After the reception we went back to the hotel for an “after party”. Since her reception ended at 6pm, they had food catered in and many nice things to snack on and imbibe. Guess who was there?? My daughter L, and her parents. They did not come to the wedding, that was my sister’s day and I didn’t want to steal her thunder. I also didn’t want to overwhelm L with meeting so many people all at once.

I have the greatest family in the world.  L has the greatest parents ever, and therefore…. everyone really had a great time meeting for the first time!  My Grandparents were so happy to finally meet, see, and know their first Great Grandchild was okay and doing well.  My maternal Grandpa had a great talk with her parents and we took generational photos with both sets of Grandparents.  There were more than a few times I caught my Grandma staring at L and watched her eyes fill with tears of joy.  For an instant I felt I had robbed my Grandparents.  Then my Grandpa came up to me and said,”All those years ago you wondered if you were making the right decision.  You made the right decision.  As painful as it was, you, she and we are all okay, and will continue to be better than okay now.” Can I tell you how much I love him???  He knows it was never easy for me, but he was always there.  He is always able to put things that are ugly or unhappy, and paint them in a different light.  Not better, just different.  Most of my cousins are in their in early twenties, so they were able to help her feel more than welcome.  I know it had to be a bit overwhelming, but she really handled the time like a champ.  She truly amazes me constantly.

The greatest news of that day to me was hearing she wanted to make a trip out to my home for our next visit.  To say I am over the moon, puts it mildly.  It would be nice to be able to just talk or go for a walk.  Our first F2F was,wee. our first time meeting… so not really ideal for “deep”talks.  We talked about the important facets of her adoption, and then tried to catch up.  This last visit, was a whirl wind of activity, so not really the setting for talking.  When we talk on the phone, it is great.  But….. I wish we could talk like that in person so I could see her face, and see her laugh.  Honestly, it is nice for me to just see her.  To walk into the room that night and see her see me…. I saw the relief, and I saw the happiness of a face she recognized.  It meant the world to me.  It wasn’t even uncomfortable for me to tell my new BIL’s Mom about L.  She was actually happy for me.  It really made the words of that priest ring in my mind.  Something I have been so sure I would judged by others for, is something I need to stop judging myself about.

My siblings are so happy for me, and they of course think she is just too cool.  My life is finally complete.  I am so happy to have her back in my world, and for being given the opportunity to become a member of her and her family’s world.  That is the greatest gift anyone could give….. peace of mind.



  1. I’m so happy that you are having a good reunion experience with your daughter. How wonderful that you are on good terms with her parents too.

  2. The faces of adoption have in in so many lights, r-mom and a-mom..I really think that is a great thing for you all around in your every day dealings with J and in your new found dealing with L. I am confident being a r-mom makes your relationship with J much stringer…

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